Gabe's Reckoning Read online

  “Now is as good a time as any. We’ve already missed out on several days due to your disappearance. An event brought on by lies I had no part of, by the way. So, we’ll just call this your chance to make up for that lapse in judgment.”

  Nina snapped her head up, her mouth open and ready to let loose with where he could go to wait for her to make up anything, but something in his eyes stopped her. It wasn’t arrogance like she’d expected. That she knew what to do with. Instead, he stared down at her with what looked a lot like hope. A surge of shock coursed through her, causing her to snap her lips back together and all the words she thought she wanted to say to die on her tongue.

  Her mind reeled. How could this be happening? Wasn’t he—? “I don’t understand. You aren’t mad at me?”

  He smiled, but it wasn’t an easy going happy thing that crossed his face. Uh huh. That smile had darkness written all over it. Not to mention intent and it was aimed squarely in her direction.

  “I’m a lot of things right now,” he said. “I think I’ve encountered and dealt with every tumultuous emotion known to mankind since you slammed out of my office. Anger, pride, disappointment…”

  Her stomach jerked at the last. It still made her ill every time she thought of the awful words she’d spewed at him. None of which he truly deserved.

  “I am upset that you ran away without giving us a chance to discuss what’s going on inside that head of yours. And yes, I was angry at the horrible assumptions you accused me of. You knew better. I know you did. You know me better than that whether you want to admit it or not. So feel free to begin your apology tour whenever you’re ready.”

  She wanted to laugh at his words, but couldn’t. The truth behind the humor hurt too much. “I didn’t mean it,” she whispered. “I know you would never do the things I accused you of. I don’t even know why I said those things. I was just so…” Her head dropped forward.

  “Upset. Devastated? Most of which I take the blame for.”

  Her head jerked up. “What? Why in the world would you be to blame?”

  He stopped advancing just a couple of feet in front of her. This close the intensity in which he stared at her doubled. No tripled, making it almost its own living breathing thing between them. And considering his proximity it made it difficult for her to breathe.

  “I made a huge miscalculation and for that, I owe you an apology.”

  “What?” She shook her head. “No, that’s crazy. I did this,” she cried, her eyes beginning to burn with unshed tears.

  He reached out and touched her cheek. “I never should have let you visit Savannah Lewis alone. I knew—hell we all knew—what a wild card Tucker’s mother was. Or still is for that matter. Either way, I underestimated her, but you can rest assured I won’t ever do that again.”

  She shook her head as pain seared through her. “I would have insisted on going alone. You have to know that about me. I needed to do it. You can’t slay all my demons, Gabe. Not anymore.” She swiped at her eyes, refusing to let the wetness stain her cheeks. “But you are right about one thing for sure. We all underestimated her. Something is very wrong with her.”

  “I don’t like it,” he said, nodding his head. “Whatever she’s up to, her motives are not clear and that’s dangerous. But in your case, whether you like it or not, it was my job to protect you from her and I failed.”

  “I’m not a job, Gabe. I can protect myself.” He was beginning to sound a little cavemanny and it made her stomach tickle.

  “You’re my wife, Nina. My wife. Do you even understand what that means yet?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “She hurt you. Hurt what is now mine. That is something I cannot forgive.”

  Nina shuddered at the caress of the word mine that slid across her skin much like a lover’s touch. The possessiveness that came with such a simple statement should have revolted her, made her cringe. Instead, it became the opposite as she fought to breathe against the deep longing he created inside her.

  “She keeps secrets. Old ones. And we all know, well kept secrets, no matter how benign or shocking, will eventually hurt like a bitch. Whatever it is, it’s going to hurt people I love.”

  Gabe touched his thumb to her bottom lip and traced it from one side to the other. “I know, baby. If it didn’t hurt, your mind wouldn’t hide it from you. I shudder at the thought of what else she knows that we don’t. Who will she strike at next?”

  “I don’t think she’d ever do anything to hurt Tucker,” Nina whispered, the effects of his touch making it harder to talk. “Do you?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not putting anything out of the realm of possibility. All the more reason we need to finish what we started. You can’t keep hiding from the truth. We need your memories, wife.”

  He took another step closer and wrapped his hand around the side of her neck. Nina sucked in air as her body tingled from the firm grasp of his fingers against her skin.

  Did he know that calling her his wife was melting something inside her each time he said it? It took sheer force of will not to slide her eyes closed and let Gabe do whatever he wanted. It had only been three days and yet, she’d missed him so much. That chasm of emptiness that had opened the moment she slammed out of his office began to slowly fill.

  “What if I say no?” She wouldn’t, but she needed to hear his answer.

  His fingers tightened and a little sliver of fear breached her mind.

  “That is your right. It always is.” He paused, staring into her eyes. “It would be a shame, though. I’ve never given you a reason to say no to me, Nina, and every reason to say yes.”

  “I’m not saying I don’t want to try, but I don’t know if I can,” she panted, her breath hitching. “I’m just not sure about anything anymore. Look what a few words from Savannah did to us. What happens when you learn whatever secrets I might be hiding? I don’t think it’s going to be good for us.”

  “Stop worrying about me, baby. Forget about what I might think. It’s time for you to think about your needs. Do you not want the truth? Don’t you need it?”

  The truth. She almost laughed. Her life had turned into a house of cards. One more puff and who the hell knew what would rain down on her next. “You want the truth?” she asked.

  “Always. I don’t care how uncomfortable it makes you. Without it, we have nothing to start with and nothing to keep going on.”

  She pulled to the side, disengaging from his touch. To her surprise he let her. “I don’t want to learn the truth if it’s going to destroy us,” she admitted, a little surprised the words had actually come out.

  A slight smile curved his lips. “Not going to happen. We made a deal. And more importantly, I made a commitment whether you understand the depth of that or not. Although you will.”

  She winced. “Gabe, how can you say that? Savannah told me one little thing and I lost my shit. What’s going to happen next time? I don’t want to hurt you again.”

  “That’s why we have to control how things happen. If you submit to me. And I don’t mean going through the motions. If you place your trust and well being in my hands for real, I will make sure you are protected. If you give that gift to me, I promise you won’t regret it. No one, and I mean no one will come between me and my submissive.”

  Her stomach fluttered. She’d lived for years afraid of that word, believing to her core that she could never fulfill what Gabe needed. Despite that, he never hesitated to be at her side when she needed him most. One day at a time, he’d chipped away at her armor until a whisper of possibility got through. And just when she thought she could accept he might be right, the rug had been pulled out from under her.

  Again.

  “I don’t know what to think anymore, Gabe. Everything I thought I knew has changed.”

  He smiled at her, the skin around his eyes crinkling. “You aren’t his daughter. Which means his legacy can’t hurt you. You don’t have to be afraid.”

  She harrumphed. “I’ve lived with the knowledge that I potentially killed my own father for a decade. A few words in one day hasn’t wiped out all those years of fear. It doesn’t even feel real.”

  “Then replace those feelings with something that is actually real. We’re married, Nina. You and me.”

  “Only because of a stupid promise I made to my mother.”

  Gabe snorted. “Keep telling yourself that, babe. We had to fuck, that’s for sure. The sexual tension between us had built to the breaking point and we both needed it just so we could function again. But that sure as hell isn’t why I married you.”

  Heat flushed her neck at his reference to their first time having sex. Images from that encounter filled her head. “You don’t have to be crude about what we did.” Although she actually didn’t mind. Her brain had gone there several times since he arrived and countless times before his appearance.

  He strode over to her in three swift steps, crowding her space again and encircled his arms around her waist before pulling her hard against his front. “It’s not crude. It’s honest. Fucking is a good thing and between us it’s great. You don’t dance around what we wanted for as long as we did without straight up fucking. And it sure as hell won’t be the last. So get used to it, cause I plan to fuck you every chance I get.”

  Nina’s insides shook with every forceful word spoken and she had no idea how to respond.

  “I think you have ruined me,” he whispered against her ear. “I can’t sleep at night without you in my bed. Three restless nights without you curled against my side and my dick hurts almost as much as my heart.”

  Nina whimpered as a fresh onslaught of emotion overwhelmed her. “I’ve missed you too. I thought I’d lost you forever.”

  He lifted his head and looked down at her. “You really thought you could get rid of me that easily?” he asked, with the beginning of another smile tugging at his lips.

  “I never thought you would forgive me. What I did was reprehensible.”

  He shook his head. “No, Nina. What you did was impulsive and definitely a little reckless, but understandable given the circumstances. Savannah cut you deep and you reacted. Was it the best way to handle the situation? Definitely not. Did it work out okay in the end? We don’t know yet, but I believe it will.”

  She blinked up at him. “Seriously, I don’t know how you can say that. I’ve embarrassed you, hurt you and humiliated myself.”

  “No one ever dies from embarrassment, Nina. It did, however, force Mason to reveal one of his secrets. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do?”

  She screwed up her face as she thought about her brother. Or not her brother. Gah. She was so confused. Her and Mason had a back and forth relationship over the years due to his protective nature. He spent more time grumbling at her than actually talking to her. That didn’t mean she wanted to get rid of him. For better or worse and despite the arguing, she liked having him in her life. It was nice knowing at times he had her back. She couldn’t exactly turn off the sister gene now just because of a sudden technicality. There were long held familial emotions involved.

  “I do indeed know what a feat it was to get Mason to reveal something so important. Although I don’t understand why he waited. He could have told us this ages ago. The whole thing feels cruel, and despite his many faults, I never saw him as that.

  Gabe nodded. “He could have told us. But then what? Were you eager to discover your family is not really related to you after all? Does it feel better to trade three brothers in order to lose a bastard father?”

  She frowned at the sharp stab of pain his question caused. “Of course not. For better or worse and despite being huge pains in my ass over the years, they were my family and I loved them.”

  He tucked his finger under her chin and lifted her head until their gazes again met. “You say that in the past tense. Did you suddenly stop loving them?”

  “Of course not.” She tried to wriggle away from him, but he refused to let her go. “But I can’t go back and change things. I can’t pretend I didn’t hurt you and I can’t pretend my reality hasn’t changed.”

  Gabe frowned, his forehead creasing in an adorable way despite what it meant. “We aren’t going to get very far if you can’t put your behavior behind you. I can see the pain your guilt is causing and it’s not necessary.”

  She reached up and pushed her hands against his chest. She couldn’t breathe and she needed some space. This time he let her go. “I think I’m broken.” She choked back another sob, determined to face this with at least some dignity, if nothing else.

  Gabe shook his head and sighed. “You are not broken. This is a temporary setback. It’s not abnormal for your emotions to get tangled up in this mess. But I can see that this situation calls for more than a simple discussion. You’ve spent three days wallowing in your guilt alone in this cabin. Not exactly productive was it?” His voice deepened, taking on a tone she recognized.

  “You don’t have to make it sound so pathetic,” she whined, taking a step back.

  “I’m not. But we both have to put what happened behind us and move on. At least in so far as it affected our relationship. Would it make you feel better to be properly punished first and then forgiven?”

  Her body jerked at his question. “I’m not a child, Gabe. Sending me to my room or taking my phone away isn’t going to make a difference.”

  He lunged forward and grabbed her wrist, pulling her against his hard frame. “No, my wife, you are one hundred percent woman. But right now your smart mouth makes me want nothing more than to turn you over my knee and spank your ass until it burns and then bend you over the arm of this couch and fuck you until there is no doubt in your mind that this is real and that nothing you can say will change the fact that you belong to me.”

  Every single muscle in her body stilled. There was no way in hell she’d heard him right. And there was certainly no way the words he’d said were making her insides tingle.

  Except she had and they were.

  What should have sounded childish and ridiculous, had given her a jolt of hope. Something she hadn’t felt in days and feared might never again. Now instead of fear and sadness filling her mind, she felt anticipation—and—arousal.

  “Cat got your tongue?” he asked, a slight smirk curling up the right side of his face. “Or are you afraid to admit you liked what I said?”

  Yes. “No, I’m not afraid. I’m just not sure how a spanking is going to make me feel better. Sounds silly and potentially painful.”

  “It will be painful. But lessons need to be learned so we can both move on. Don’t you agree?”

  She hesitated, unsure. Well, not exactly unsure since deep down she wanted to say yes. More like what kind of person would want to say yes to this?

  “Don’t overthink this, Nina. You are overwhelmed by guilt and it’s unnecessary. If you can’t let go of it after talking it out, then we have to free it another way. Are you willing to keep an open mind and put your trust in me?”

  She blinked, each one of his words slaying her. God, she was so tired of rehashing her mistakes in her head. If there was even a slight chance he was right… She nodded before she could change her mind. Part of her feared she would regret saying yes. Gabe was well known at Purgatory for his degrees of punishment and the pleasure he took in doling it out. Something she’d always been curious about…

  “Do I look like the kind of man to accept a nod?” He pulled her over to the couch, took a seat in the middle and spread his legs so she could fit between them. “Say the words, Nina. Tell me what you want from me. I will accept nothing less.”

  She tried to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. It would be so much easier if he just did whatever he wanted. She deserved whatever punishment he saw fit. Except easy wasn’t exactly the point was it? And she had a feeling he’d wait all night if that’s what it took. Gabe Michaels would do nothing she didn’t ask for, including hurt her.

  Chapter 5

  “I want to get past this, Gabe, I really do. Please.”

  He stared at her, his focus not wavering at all. “I know you do, baby, but that’s not enough. Tell me.”

  She opened her mouth to give him what he needed and the foreign words died on her lips. How could she want this?

  "You are the strongest, most resilient woman I've ever known. Admitting you need something doesn't change that. Don't let your head get in the way. Go with your gut."

  Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment. He really could see inside her. And yet, hesitation still lodged in her throat. What he was asking...

  Stop it.

  She opened her eyes and looked at the man in front of her. There was no arrogance or ego stamped across his face. This man—her husband now—didn't play games with her. He said what he meant and did only what he wanted. Now it was her turn to take a page out of his life and be brave.

  She swallowed thickly and pushed the words out. “I need to be punished by you so I can be forgiven.” Her stomach jolted at the stark clarity those words gave her. “Please, Sir.”

  A guttural groan slipped from him at the last, almost making her smile. But he gave her no time for that before he pulled her onto his lap, wrapped his hands around her head and pulled her into a kiss. No, not just a kiss. More like two mouths crashed together in the midst of a chaotic storm, where only one person can emerge the master. Him. Always him.

  He angled to the side and took them deeper into the epicenter. A place she had no hope for escape. No desire for escape, actually. Her stomach swooped. Somehow with no words, she felt to her core how much he desired her. He claimed, she gave, and everything she’d wished she could say to him she poured into his unrestrained kiss. A few short days ago she’d been unsure if she could ever give him what he needed. Now she knew she’d die trying. Didn't he deserve that?

  She hadn’t married him on a whim either, despite what she said. She’d been waiting all these years for the right time even when she refused to admit it to either one of them. She’d been dumb to push him away. Dear God, she hoped she learned her lesson today. Then maybe she could keep him.